Persuasive Writing Final Draft
Hillary Gaddy
11/30/2009

You should enjoy taking your poops. Pooping is a natural cycle of the body; it is used as a method of flushing out excess and harmful wastes. Defecation is also a good way to relieve pressure and make you feel happier and healthier. There are so many ways to enjoy your pooping experience that I’m sure you can find one way that will lighten your heart, and have you on the edge of your seat waiting for that poop signal.
Your colon acts as a storage facility. The walls can expand as more waste enters. When full, the anal sphincter relaxes and causes a message to be sent to your brain, telling you it’s time to grab your gaming device and have a nice time in the restroom. If people don’t poop when their brains tell them to, the waste returns to their colons and waits for your rectum to become full again. If you keep holding it, the waste in one’s colon will harden and you will become constipated. When humans become constipated, they experience a lot of pain and if they don’t defecate eventually, they will have to go to the hospital.
The natural defecation position is squatting. Squat, or natural position, toilets are commonly used today among humans. According to Bockus Gastroenterology, “The ideal posture for defecation is the squatting position, with the thighs flexed upon the abdomen. In this way, the capacity of the abdominal cavity is greatly diminished and intra-abdominal pressure increased, thus encouraging expulsion. . .”Do you use the natural defecation position? Of course you do, we all do. Try to visualize yourself pooping; you’re on your toilet, squatting and holding your breath. As waste is released, the body starts to feel lighter and healthier. Thanks to the natural defecation process everyone can experience the joy of feeling fresh and ready for a new cycle to begin.
Now we must discuss wiping; though it may not be the most fun thing about pooping, there are definitely many ways to wipe that can turn that frown upside down. Most European and Asian countries consider wiping oneself dirty and very unsanitary. So they use bidets, or special toilets that have a stream of water that cleanses people after defecation or urination. Sounds scary but really fun, right? Even if some don’t want to use a bidet, or just can’t afford one, they should at least be thankful that we have access to toilet paper. In the older times people would use uncomforting things such as wool, hemp, wood shavings, stones, sand, or even moss to wipe themselves with.
Having fun on the toilet while taking your first, second or third poop of the day is easier than one might think. I, myself like to play video games on my handheld gaming device, but others might enjoy doing different activities. Making toilet paper origami sounds really fun, then there’s always the standard texting or talking on the phone. For those with fancy iPhones and Blackberries, you can surf the web, even play some Farmville on Facebook.
Pooping is in everyone’s near future. One really shouldn’t try to escape from it, as it will have consequences, such as constipation, like I explained earlier. Why not have some fun while having to be seated in the squatting position? Pooping is fun, natural, and super healthy. Humans everywhere need to embrace the swelling anal sphincter and messages sent to your brain and defecation will be the highlight of your day.